Tuesday, 28 April 2015

$30 a month (USD) for a recruiter

Plum's older sister

How did it come to pass that I hired Cynthia Axe's sister, Plum Axe, as our chief of recruitment, on a 3 month contract for a paltry sum of thirty dollar? (Isn't that a nice word?)

It all started in our management meeting today when our CEO Stan asked us if our leadership is "regenerative"?

Stan's motive for asking this agile question was, as always, to please his cerebral wife Wifey who went to a lecture on Regenerative Leadership and had had what she called a "mental orgasm" when she heard the details.

Comrade Carl Marks said, "regenerative leadership is just another slogan, kibinimat. Just another ploy by the consulting industry, much like zenga zenga. Can you imagine what would have happened if Russia had fought the Germans in Stalingrad using regenerative leadership?" 
Comrade Carl stopped speaking without warning. He took out his new LG 3 smartphone after his diatribe and began reading an article about Internet of Things in his Russian newspaper on line.

After the management meeting, I convened a meeting of my HR team, ie, with Hugh White (the white heterosexual who runs Diversity) and Ms Axe, Head of our Early Bird Retirement Program. I presented to the team the challenges of Regenerative HR. 
The very astute Miss Axe said, "Gloria, all we do is fire people. How can we be degenerative, sorry, regenerative? Why not hire my sister, Plum Axe, for 3 months this summer to do some recruitment? That should change our image"!

Hugh White said nothing; he was dozing off in the meeting. He and his wife Ludmilla have had a week long misunderstanding, not about big data to be sure.

Plum Axe starts to work in June, and she will  pay us $30 dollars USA a month, "learning fees" during her 3 month stint. I sent her a link with my recruitment guidelines on how to review a resume, agile or not, in 6 seconds.

Fast asleep during crucial meeting


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