Monday, 16 February 2015

Acquiring the top 5 cross cultural skills in 3 hours

Five skills in one morning

What a non-resilient way to start the day.  
When I opened my Blackberry, the first thing that I noticed was that Emerging Technology VP Comrade Carl Marks had sent a scathing email to our CEO Stan, and put me on CC.

To: Stan, CEO
CC: Gloria, HR
Subject: Lack of cultural skills in HR

The HR department reminds me on an ice cream parlour that serves only vanilla ice cream. 
Our Internet of Things Department is a diverse and multi-cultural environment. We need support, not a vanilla ice cream cone, kibinimat.
I love Gloria; she is becoming nerdish and she has lovely legs but that's not enough. We need an HR department with cross cultural skills.
Comrade Carl 

Stan told me that I have three months to transition HR to multiculturalism; after three hours, I updated Stan that the job was done.

To: Stan, CEO
CC: Comrade Carl Marks, Emerging Technology
BCC: Cynthia Axe, Hugh White, HR

I identified the top 5 cross cultural skills, commissioned 5 webinars and "administered them" this morning.  HR is now officially cross culturally competent. 
FYI, each webinar provides certification, with a lovely mahogany frame.
The areas in which we provided certification are
  1. Understanding broken English and enjoying tribal food
  2. Driving in Mumbai
  3. Talking all at once and not following process.
  4. Russian swear words
  5. Arguing with Israeli engineers
With resilience,

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