Sunday, 11 January 2015

Je suis Carl

A rally

The police woke me up  at 8 am and served me a summons for disturbing the peace. 

I was fast asleep clutching my Blackberry so I thought that this is all a misunderstanding. 

However when I opened the summons, I had been charged not personally but in my capacity as very senior HR director. Apparently there is an illegal demonstration going on outside our office disturbing the peace.

My Dad Pierre Elliot said that police need to be pitied, because they have to deal with the "under-life" and they are all underpaid. (Dad had no understanding of labour costs.)

The police whipped out his ugly Iphone and said, "let me show this to you ma'am". I invited him in, in line with the my core value of not getting a cold.

He showed me a tape of Chief Nerd Comrade Carl Marks and his entire crew of engineers (big data and internet of things) blocking off the road that leads to our firm. 
There must have been 400 of them, many of whom look foreign. They were all speaking different tongues, like the in the Tower of Babel, as it were. I remember that from Bible Class.

Comrade Carl boomed out: Kibinimat, I am sick and tired of Engineers taking the blame for unsophisticated customers complaints and piss poor  performance of our Sale steam. We demand social justice. We demand better compensation. We demand less focus on quality and more focus on innovative software. And we demand that HR free lunchers all get the ax. 

The workers waived their fists in the air and chanted : 
Je suis Carl. 
Swing swing tabernac, RH au poteau! (HR to the pillory)

That's French.

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