Monday, 22 December 2014

Internet of things, sexual history and career path

Comrade Carl Marks, VP Emerging Technologies, sent me a Whats-app message: "Gloria, I notice you are immersing yourself in
the internet of things/IoT. Let's have supper tonight and I will give you my input on using IoT to garner more power. Let's go to a Russian restaurant. Comrade Carl Marks".

To be frank and earnest, I do not like Russian food; I prefer Oriental food, aka "les mets chinois" in French . But I certainly do like enhancing my power base. So I texted Carl:  "Comrade Carl, send me the address and I will meet you at 7 pm."

Comrade Carl had apparently had a few vodkas by the time I arrived. When I walked into our booth, he hugged me and said, "Jesus, Gloria you have nice legs. I hate HR but "they" don't  make HR ladies like you any more. Together, we shall change the world". Carl was wearing a T shirt inscribed with "Internet of Things is better than sex"

I realized that the alcohol and Comrade Carl's medication were "interacting".

After some chit chat and idle gossip, Carl stood up and asked me , "Gloria, did you know that the internet of things is tool that will allow HR to create causal and non causal explanations between promotions, sexual history, respect for HR, loyalty, engagement and marketability? Can you imagine what HR will look like? The ladies of HR would have more power than Trump, Stalin, Netanyahu, Queen Elizabeth or Erdogan!" Then Carl sat down.

The truth is that I do not know who these people are, since my "forte" was French and not history or literature. But I nodded my head in tacit understanding. What a word-tacit!  

Then Carl whispered in my ear, "all I asking from you, Gloria, is to ask the board to invest $400,000 in an HR data base and I will take in from there. In two years, a new HR will appear, and together, we can dispose of CEO Stan, whom we both agree is useless as tits on a bull". Carl looked as happy as a Chesire cat. I was mildly shocked.

I told Carl to mind his foul language since I am posh, have an new English accent,  and have accountability on all Diversity issues. 

Stan, is the Comrade organizing a coup? (French word)

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