Thursday, 25 December 2014

Holidays at home can be depressing

I broke 2 vows


When I flew home to Moose Jaw, Canada for the Christmas holidays, I vowed that I would not allow my mother (Constance) to get under my skin, and I also vowed to stay away from email and texting.

So far, progress on these two vows has been semi wow.

Maman (Mom) is loosing her memory and as a result, she repeated a few questions:
   Gloria, when are you coming home for Christmas?
   Gloria, are you still in Manpower?
   Gloria, do you ever plan to "settle down"?

Developing matrices is a major part of HR business partnership, so I noted that she asked each question about three times an hour.

When Maman really got on my nerves an hour after I arrived, I opened my email, where I found a greeting from CEO Stan.

To Gloria, HR
From Stan, CEO

Gloria,

How is it in Canada?  Must be colder that a witch's tit "up there".

I hope you take the time to be with your mother and siblings, as well as reflect on a few issues, if you have time.

You need to find a way to boost morale, and at the same time, realign our health plan to our core values of thriftiness. I reviewed the numbers, and people complain too much, and our health plan is too fucking expensive.

What is all this diversity shit about, Gloria? I don't care who is normal and who is not-we need to make the numbers. So, what do you suggest in terms of trimming 80% off Hugh White's $3000 budget? That will create more of a focus.

Finally, there is too much tension between you and Comrade Carl. Carl is a prince! He bought Wifey some caviar and gave her an article to read on Internet of Things. Build a bridge to the Comrade, Gloria.

Oh yes, one last thing. We need some hype when you get back. A German company is going to be doing due diligence and I want the troops to be positive. You are great at that hype stuff.

Merry Christmas.
Stan


2 comments:

  1. Merci. Old de Villiers did not go home to Blume Fountain for holiday due to load shredding.
    Gloria

    ReplyDelete