Thursday, 27 November 2014

Internet of things , a new HR slogan, and a new pin up girl


Our chief nerd, Comrade Carl Marks, was sitting in my chair when I came into the office this morning. Carl was wearing a T shirt that says: Our product is a Pearl. (Our clients think differently, as it were)

My room smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. Comrade Carl appeared jovial and jocund; he kissed me on the cheek, looked at my legs like a filthy lecher, and said Dobreh Utro, which means Good Morning in Russian,

"Gloria baby", he said, "I know what needs to be done to promote massive acceptance of our technology on a wider scale. 
The focus needs to be the integration of our mighty technological into the internet of things
To support this effort, we need 4 engineers. So let's migrate all HR resources into IT and Legal, freeing up valuable horsepower."

Comrade Carl took out another joint. "I love you Gloria, but you chose the wrong profession. HR is useless as tits on a bull". Then Carl strolled out of my office, singing a Russian song. 

Dad (Pierre Elliot) used to tell me to "write things off Gloria, the world is full of weirdos". So I ignored Comrade Carl.

Within ten minutes however, five (cinq) meetings had been set in my calendar by Comrade Carl's secretary, Comrade Natalie Khmelnitski-McNab.

1000  Internet of things as platform for 2018
1100  How HR can support Internet of Things
1200  Replacing Big data slogan with Internet of Things
1300  Lunch-Comrade Carl will discuss Internet of Things; Gloria to present recruitment strategy
1400 Ensuring all our documentation can be in Russian 

My mother just called. She is loosing her memory, so she asks me questions again and again. "What is the internet of things Gloria? When are you getting married Gloria? What is the internet of things Gloria? Are you still in Manpower?"

And Cynthia Axe just told me that Comrade Carl has appointed her Miss Internet-of-things pin up girl.

Miss Internet of Things

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