Monday, 6 October 2014

Ever since Axe listened to a 90 second webinar on 'self-empowerment", she has been hallucinating.

Ms Axe caused me to pop an Advil

Ms Cynthia Axe heads our Early Bird Retirement Plan. Axe has fired 3000 staff in 4 years, whilst increasing morale.
Yet, Ms Axe is also the least popular employee for 14 consecutive quarters.

I have "issues" with the generally compliant Ms Axe. This started when our CEO's wife, Wifey, had asked all of us to read The Land of the Green Plums, and Ms Axe put down the book after 2 pages, claiming she cannot understand a word. 
Ever since then, Cynthia has not been the same Axe that I have known for years. 
Today things came to a head, as it were. I like the term "as it were".

Into my office strutted Ms Axe, at 2 pm, without knocking on the door. I was busy texting Comrade Carl Marks  on an HR business partnership issue, and I asked Ms Axe to wait patiently outside my office. Ms Axe blurted out "Gloria, I just signed up for an MA in the university and I wanted you to know that I will leaving work early on Mondays and Wednesdays at 3 pm."

In line with my core values of thought-leadership, people-come-first, and anger management, I asked Axe if this is a request or a fact.

"It is what it is, Gloria. Take it any way you want. If you wish, I can tender my resignation". 

I like the term "tender". To be honest, Ms Axe has her value, as she allows me to focus on the "people" side of things, supported up by big data, whatever that means.

I asked Axe what she was planning to study, in line with my core value of people-come-first. Axe told me that she is going to study Big Data and Senior  HR Management.
 "One day, Gloria, I want a job like yours. hopefully with a better boss than Stan and his nagging Wifey who drives us all crazy."

I have 2 brother, Frank and Ernest. 
And I want to be frank and earnest with my readers. Ever since Axe listened to a 90 second webinar on 'self-empowerment", she has been hallucinating. I plan to give her some positive and constructive feedback at the appropriate time.

In the meantime, I oked her studies, gave her a new Blackberry Passport, and I plan to enrich the role of her peer, Mr Hugh White, so that Ms Axe feels that studying has its wow rewards, and non-wow downside, as it were.

Motivating Ms Axe

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