Cognitive Disabilities

White -straight and white as a lily

Our CEO met the Head of Diversity, a certain Hugh White, in the elevator. Hugh is white and straight. CEO Stan gave White some strategic direction:

"White my boy, do some work to improve the cognitive capabilities of our nerds. The fucking product is a mess. And we need to make sure the documentation is in one language,  English, not Hebrew, Russian or Tamil ! Budget is not an issue; just get Gloria to sign off".

Hugh told CEO Stan that many of our nerds do not speak good English and need intense language training. Stan muttered, "Maybe I need to fire that Ramsbottom bitch; why the fuck does she hire people just off the boat"? 

My guess is that CEO Stan is frustrated. I have learnt not just to act, but to think as well.

I must be honest that I do not know a lot about cognitive disabilities, except for two examples-my sister Claire Ramsbottom who is a total mess and   US born and bred R&D Chief Comrade Carl Marks speaks English with a Russian accent, which is  an apparent psychiatric disorder, as it were. I sometimes wonder if not being understood is not a disability, but an advantage-there being someone to blame. 

I do know that there are people who are experts in cognitive capabilties, but they charge a fee and personally, I love free advice.

My plan to upgrade cognitive disability will focus on increasing English language skills, implement an intense wellness program based on "meaning not doing",  and putting an end to late night pizzas, except for the Mediterranean nerds who eat late supper meals without side effects. 

Our German CEO Mister Herr Krebbs was updated on the savings incurred by my pizza initiative; "gut" was Krebbs' cogent reaction.

No night pizzas