Sunday, 2 March 2014

Guidelines to Being Brief

1-All communication should include one semi elaborate idea, like a Tweet.

2-Texts, Whats-app, BBM and Line are IN. Email is OUT.

3 Americans are asked not to rah rah, Indians are asked not to theorize. Israelis are asked not to argue; French need not intellectualize-just get to the f-cking point asap.

4-Nine approved abbreviations are:

  1.    TLTR for Too Long to Read
  2.    MIS     for Make it short
  3.    CCM   for Comrade Carl Marks
  4.    GBP   for Gloria our Business Partner
  5.    DCA    for Downsizer Ms Cynthia Axe
  6.    OGLS  for Our great leader Stan
  7.    MO      for Mais Oui!
  8.    WWE  for wow wow environment     
  9.    J          for Ja, meaning yes           
5- Germans are asked to write short sentences, and put the verb in the right place. For Heaven sake!

6-In line with our core value of Diversity and Timeliness, people with shitty English are asked to run their communications thru someone in Sales or HR, where all people spell English "well".

You can follow me @GRamsbottom

Mais Oui!

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