I am under scrutiny
I received a text from Stan this Saturday morning; Stan sends me all texts simultaneously via "Whats-app", ``Viber`` and BBM. (Stan has a Blackberry Z30, which he calls a `piece of Canadian crap, Gloria`)
Stan`s text reads: "Prepare a SWOT analysis of Talent Management by 10 am Saturday and text it to me-Stan".
This is not the way I had planned spending Saturday morning, but instead of having my nails done, I "assembled" the following analysis, after I woke up Cynthia Axe (she appeared not to be alone) and Hugh White (who was with his 2 white children and white wife around the kitchen table. Ms White asked Hugh, "What does the bi-ch want on Saturday?")
Here is our analysis:
- Strong HR team
- Wow Environment
- Great leadership from Stan
- Talent is ``not abundant``, except for HR.
- Our staff is unappreciative and has negative motivation due to poor genetic makeup and poor nutrition in their native lands.
- No one watches our webinars
- Many uneducated staff believe talent management is an empty slogan
- Everyone except HR believes Knowledge Management is a manipulation to fire people
- Comrade Carl Marks, who heads R&D, is both a prig and a libertine
Cynthia dropped off the call and Ms White screamed ``The bitc-`or me", so I let him off the call.
- Our engineers do not learn English
- Stan does not understand con calls.
- Stan retires and we lose our direction.
- The World Bank loses trust in us.
Putting me aside, we lack talent.