SWOT analysis of Talent Management

I am under scrutiny

I received a text from Stan this Saturday morning; Stan sends me all texts simultaneously  via "Whats-app", ``Viber`` and Slack.

Stan`s text reads: "Prepare a SWOT analysis of Talent Management by 10 am Saturday and text it to me-Stan".

This is not the way I had planned spending Saturday morning, but instead of having my nails done, I "assembled" the following analysis, after I woke up Cynthia Axe (she appeared not to be alone) and Hugh White (who was with his 2 white children and white wife around the kitchen table. Ms White asked Hugh, "What does the bi-ch want on Saturday?")

Here is our analysis:

Strengths:

• Strong HR team
• Wow Environment
• Great leadership from Stan

Weaknesses:

• Talent is ``not abundant``, except for HR.
• Our staff is unappreciative and has negative motivation due to poor genetic makeup and poor nutrition in their native lands.
• No one watches our webinars
• Many uneducated staff believe talent management is an empty slogan
• Everyone except HR believes Knowledge Management is a manipulation to fire people
• Comrade Carl Marks, who heads R&D, is both a prig and a libertine

Opportunities:

Cynthia dropped off the call and Ms White screamed ``The bitc-`or me", so I let him off the call.

Threats:

• Our engineers do not learn English
• Stan does not understand con calls.
• Stan retires and we lose our direction.
• The World Bank loses trust in us.

Putting me aside, we lack talent.

Follow me on Twitter @GRamsbottom