Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Risk management in HR

Stan, CEO & Acting R&D Manager

Comrade Carl Marks is our R&D director as well as live-in boyfriend of  Carla, CEO Stan's daughter, who just gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte. (Stan still asks me why did Carl "do this" to Carla.)

Comrade Carl is taking a week off for paternity leave, starting today. 

My attempt to find a temporary replacement among Carl's direct reports was semi non wow, and thus, CEO Stan is filling in for Carl.

Stan has asked for HR business partnership support this upcoming week. These are the major challenges he faces-

1) Stan claims that he has "partial" technical knowledge. (Stan has an MA in Finance, and cannot even turn off his Blackberry)

2) Stan has problems with understanding foreign accents and our R&D department consists of Indians, Israeliens, Chinese and a gang of 50 Russians, all of them named Vlad.

3) Stan has no patience and most R&D documents are longer than the average text message.

4) Stan has an extreme attention span deficit, except when it comes to downsizing, and cost effective lasagna, prepared by his private chef, K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein. 

I do not plan to be Stan's HR business partner during Carl's leave. I am going "up" to Canada for Dad's memorial day.

Ms Axe will support Stan.

Btw, this is the 3rd time this year I have returned to Moose Jaw Canada for Dad's memorial day. This is in line with my core values of reputation risk management.

Supporting Stan!

Follow me on Twitter @GRamsbottom

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