Tuesday, 28 January 2014

CEO asks down-sizer Axe to put "more skin in the game"

Mlle Cynthia Axe
Not enough skin?

CEO Stan texted me urgently at 0400 AM; he asked me to be in the office at 7 am! Ciboire! 

When I arrived, he was eating some cost effective lasagna leftovers whilst reviewing his "slide pack" for a meeting he has with the chairman today at noon.

Stan does not like these meetings. He does not view the Chairman as his business partner.
Only I am his true business partner, Stan has told me. (I get sexually aroused when he tells me this, although Stan is pretty revolting).

Why did Stan want to talk, you may ask? Stan noticed that our head count is diminishing only at 4.21% a month, and he noted that 88% of people "set free and liberated" speak pretty good English with no traceable accent, "which was not in the game plan, Gloria".

Stan also noticed that con-calls are harder and harder to understand due to what he calls "changing demographics". Comrade Carl Marks, who heads R&D and understands all accents, told Stan to "see an ear specialist".

At 9 am I returned to my office. Stan texted me at 09.01: "Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux; get your underling, the down-sizer Cynthia Axe, to put some skin in the game, for Christ's sake.-Stan".

1 comment:

  1. Just when I thought Stan was clueless....