Monday, 20 January 2014

Downsizing is less important than we thought, this week

Solidarity is more important than big data

There has been some collateral damage since Miss Axe from HR launched her incentive plan for staff to fire one another, in order to increase user experience.

The symptoms of this damage are long email threads with finger-pointing, 2 fist fights, and a mild innocuous car bomb threat.

When Axe launched this incentive plan, the collateral damage was unforeseen by the myopic Ms Axe, who is showing a lack of managerial maturity with more and more pecuniary demands. Axe's intern, Ms Georgette Chomage, appears no more mature than Ms Axe. Georgette even asked me for a Blackberry Priv. (She, like so many of the French, seem to be union-oriented).

Stan told me that "dealing with the collateral damage of this "idiotic plan" is just as important as sloganizing." And Stan added: "Dealing with this damage is even more important than driving our vendors into receivership".

I have brought Hugh White, the naive, heterosexual white boy who runs Diversity, into the picture. Hugh White, full of slogans and a firm believer in appreciative inquiry, intrinsic motivation and teamwork, has been tasked with improving solidarity of the "working class" within a week. White will deal with all employees on this issue, not only irregular employees.


  1. I would look carefully for Cynthia's manicured fingerprints on the fistfights and the car bomb threat; it seems that she is trying to outsource her work under the pretense of 'staff engagement'.