Thursday, 26 December 2013

Top North Korean Management Techniques that Stan is axe-amining

Gangnam Style

Since Kim Jong Un successfully re-positioned his Uncle Jang and reorganized so effectively, CEO Stan has been reading North Korean leadership "literature", in the spirit of globalism, and in line with our core values of "emulating best practices".

Stan shared the following thoughts with me by text this morning.

1) After we axe people Gloria, do we ensure that the organization learns and develops? Here, people don't give a s--t any more when people are axed. Is your hatchet woman Cynthia Axe too soft?Aren't people appreciative that have they have a job? Ms Ramsbottom-Lemieux, I DO imagine that Kim's other uncles (or Aunts) don't want to be re-positioned! 
2) Do people  clap hard enough when I enter the room? Where is the respect for me, EVP HR Gloria Ramsbottom? Where? 
Isn't respect in HR's court?
3) I've read that the army "transfers" the prettiest girls to the capital.
So I ask you, Gloria R Lemieux, do we as a company have "the best of the best"? No we do not. Our Sales folks are clinically depressed and no one in R&D speaks proper English.
And you are my HR manager!

Then Stan texted me again: "Shape up Gloria. People are too complacent here".

I am wondering if I am about to be re-positioned, Gangnam style.

You can follow me on Twitter @GRamsbottom.


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