Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Cynthia Axe to be trained in North Korea

A limber Cynthia Axe has been given stretch goals for 2014.
Ms Axe heads our semi Voluntary Early Bird Retirement Program.

Ms Axe needs to thin out the ranks by 38%, increase morale, and implement a talent management program for a bunch of losers. This is not a simple task; she needs some training.

I get a Best Practices Downsizing Text Service. 
The service has recommended North Korea as a center of HR axe-cellence for "right-sizing", based on Kim Jong Un "re-positioning of his dear uncle".  

(After  re-positioning and re-branding his Uncle, the Uncle was called "despicable human scum ... worse than a dog" who perpetrated "acts of treachery in betrayal of such profound trust and warmest paternal love shown by the party and the  leader for him.")

Stan has called a meeting with me and Caucasian heterosexual  Hugh White (Diversity Chief) to see "what this all means in terms of how we operate". Stan means we need to perhaps learn from the North Koreans, in the spirit of globalism.

Cynthia Axe is off to Pyongyang, North Korea, after Hugh White (the white heterosexual who runs Diversity) gives her some cultural training. The training takes 3 minutes.

For those who do not know (like our parochial White Sales Force), there are 2 places called Korea. In Korea, many people share the same family name, like Park or Kim, which makes HR data management very tough, so we use input from Big Data and Internet of Things.

Preparing to welcome Axe

You can follow me on Twitter @GRamsbottom.

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