Non shocking results for Jan Organizational Survey-2016

I remain well - loved! Mais oui!

Here is a short summary of the semi wow results of the January 2016 organizational survey, sent by text to all employees.

•      CEO Stan is disappointed about all followership, except from his HR Business Partner.
•    Stan’s worst complaint was about “Communication”. “I cannot understand any of the meetings with our nerds, because only 7% speak proper English". 
•    Procurement is very disappointed with our Vendors, who have preferred to stop supplies as opposed to going into receivership.
•    100% of all Danes in our company are "very happy". 
•    MOST DETESTED employee is Ms Cynthia Axe, Head of our Involuntary Early Bird Retirement Plan; her cleavage was voted "Cleavage of the Year”.
•   Training and Talent Management webinars were voted “sleeping aid” of the year.
•   100% of management sampled believes we have the “wrong people on the bus”.
•    HR was voted the most responsive function in our company, “especially when it comes to downsizing”.
•    100% of people sampled love my hyphenated name, and legs.
•    I have lost the results to the question, “Does HR kiss Stan’s rear end or care for the masses”?
•    Big Data Chief Comrade Carl Marks was voted Manager of the Year by non-native English speakers.  
•    0.16% of French nationals in our company believe my Quebec accent in French is "charming".
•     Most popular management slogan is zenga zenga.

We may discuss the results in a “Whatsapp” chat room some time in Q1, 2019.