Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Use of Skype to Fire Staff

Axe follows directions

Our CEO Stan rarely uses the word "fire". He sees this word as "negative, unsustainable, and non wowish in terms of stock price".

Ms Cynthia Aqs (nee Axe) , Head of our Early Bird Retirement Plan, is in charge of "Human Inventory Management", which ensures alignment of tasks, resources and "bench strength". 

Stan views "bench strength" as relevant only in the world of sport.

Given the axe-pected results of Q4, Ms Aqs must ensure she meets of the goal of recruiting 50 (fifty) new members to the Early Bird Retirement Plan (aka #loadshredding) , from all colours, creeds and religious persuasions, as per the guideline of our straight, white Head of Diversity, Hugh White.

Since Aqs (nee Axe) has 2 days to fulfill this goal, I have oked the use of group calls on Skype to execute this grisly task, despite the warnings of the idiot OD consultant who writes this blog.

Here are the instructions and coaching that I gave to Ms Aqs, nee Axe on the use of Skype:

  1. Go to toolbar
  2. Go to call
  3. Go to group video
  4. Go to contacts, add members
  5. Shoot
  6. Back up with text/sms message
  7. Have a nice day
  8. Nee is French

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