Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Our love of our customers is almost erotic


Love, eroticism and customer intimacy

The Chairman of the Board had been awakened from his slumber from a irate customer, who told him that "your company's commitment stink of deception ".

The chairman threw a fit of rage. He summoned CEO Stan and Carl Marks to a meeting.
The Chairman of the Board then whipped Stan's fat ass as well as the rear end of the erratic VP R&D, Comrade Carl Marks. "Come up with a plan to fix your customer issues, or your done", bellowed the Chairman.

(*Stan over-eats since his personal chef, K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein,  has started cooking cost effective lasagna ).

Later in the day, Comrade Carl (Marks) issued a mission critical email to all engineering staff, cc'ing the Chairman:

"Our company loves its customers; our love is almost erotic", wrote Carl Marks to the useless bums in R&D who cannot crank out a product to save their lives. The email continued: "Our love of our clients is deep, wide, sustainable and global".

Later in the day, I received an email:

     To: Gloria-HR
     From: Carl Marks
     To: Stan, CEO
     To: Chairman of the Board
     CC: Axe Cynthia
     CC: Hugh White-Diversity

     Gloria,

     We need some training on customer intimacy.
     Carl












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