K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein called to meeting with Gloria, his ex Cynthia Aqs and Stan

K Ray asks for a new cellphone

Background:

K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein is Stan's personal cost effective chef, who specializes in cost effective lasagna (for the boss, Stan) and in "fooling around" with our female employees, the last of whom was a certain Ms Cynthia Aqs, see Axe. Nee is a French word.

K Ray has mixed ethnicity, although he is white as a lily. 

The Crisis:

There is a huge crisis in Immature Products due to the inappropriate implementation of our Early Bird Retirement Plan on an Hungarian engineer. Head of Diversity Huge White, who himself is lily White and straight, is now in Budapest making amends, in a timely fashion and in line with our key values. That means very little. Budapest is in Europe.

The Solution:

As per the guidance of our "speed coach",K Ray has been asked to launch Magyar Etrem Week (Hungarian Kitchen Week), immediately.

Even our water fountain MUST emit Hungarian water.

The problem is that K Ray only knows how to make cost effective lasagna well; "unless I get a Blackberry Platinum Q10, then I can "deploy" cost effective yet sumptuous Hungarian food in 15 minutes", blurted K Ray, the non wowish pig.

I told K Ray he was fired. Stan then fired me; I smsed/texted Wifey (Stan's wife) and we are all in a meeting now to smooth things over, all in line with our core values, whatever that means.

All ideas in this post (each and every one)  are the recommendations of our global speed coach, who received another deferred cheque.