Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Of the people, for the people, and by the people

R&D Chief Carl Marks met with his General Assembly today.
Also present was his HR Business Partner, Jennifer Papadopolous-Otelini, who has no Indian or Scottish background.

Carl Marks solicited feedback from the engineers about client demands, long hours, ruthless downsizing and CEO Stan's erratic style. Cynthia Axe's name came up in passing.

Marks asked for his senior strategic HR Business Partner, a certain Ms Papadopolous, to take notes. Jennifer obeyed, whilst texting with her new Blackberry 10.

The meeting was held in Chinese, Russian, Hebrew with Carl translating the jist in English to white Jennifer.

SVP HR Gloria Rambottom-Lemieux was award Observer Status, yet due to lingustic issues, Gloria was not present.

The following decisions were made and adapted by the R&D General Assembly.

1) No client will provide unreasonable deadlines.
2) No project will take more than 60 days (after tax).
3) Change requests will have clear specs.
4) No change managers will be hired.
5) All SOW's will be provided in the Chinese and Russian language.
6) HR and Sales can communicate in English amongst themselves.
7) Projects which are not very profitable will be turned down.
8) Israelis will not argue with the customers.
9) R&D Engineering is run for the people and by the people.
10) We call upon a certain Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux to fire Ms Cynthia Axe.

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