Saturday, 24 August 2013

The easiest way to avoid litigation against HR

HR (and RH) can easily avoid litigation

Dear CEO Stan,
I complained to Ms.Cynthia Axe from HR's heinous Early Bird Retirement about the demand that we take con-calls even when in the toilet. She fired me.
I am suing you for $12 m dollars.

Dear Igor,
I reinstate you; I have informed my business partner, EVP HR Gloria. I have oked a 40% raise and a new Samsung 6.
CEO Stan

To Gloria, ( by  text)...Update toilet-based con-call policy.
Tell Axe to be more moderate, in line with our core values of "avoid litigation"

To: all
From: Gloria
Following a semi wow string of events, here is our policy on the issue on con calls in the toilet.
1) CEO Stan supports gastro-intestinal health.
2) Talking part in conference calls whist on the toilet is, for the most part, neither global nor sustainable. It is not fully aligned with our core values of "avoiding litigation".
3) In parallel, special toilets adapted for the use customer service engineers, big data nerds, Sales people and the whining Continuing Engineers who are "fielding" mission critical calls. All calls are mission critical, unless defined differently by Ms Cynthia Axe, who is easily accessible every third Tuesday at 7 am.
4) Employees are encouraged to take care of the gastro issues at the appropriate time, in line with our key values of work work work life balance.

1 comment:

  1. If concall are to be encouraged in toilet a video chat lesson on the use of the mute button may be highly recommended.

    My firm will be happy to develop a program 'Protocols and procedures for use of BB Q10 in discrete facilities'....we have a special going on right now...