Cynthia Axe (f) heads our Early Bird Retirement Plan. Because of her loyalty to me, she is proof positive that slavery exists in 2016- I reward her with an I-Phone 6, and I provide her with liberal talent management software.
K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein is Stan (our CEO's) private and cost effective chef. K Ray is of mixed ethnicity. K Ray's specialty is cost effective lasagna.
K Ray and Cynthia are life partners, together for 6 weeks, after Axe (Cynthia) separated from her life long partner of 2 months, Louis Archambault-Turner. Axe is attracted to people with hyphenated names.
Axe and K Ray were having a discussion last night, let's call it pillow talk. Axe (Cynthia) described her work to K Ray as follows:
"Actually K Ray, all I do is fire people. We give it a fancy name, but I just take tens of people and fire them each week. Stan does not know his ass from his elbow as CEO, and Gloria is an inflated fart, out to keep her f--king seat at the table by selling out".
K Ray looked at his beloved Cynthia Axe and said: "Those people you fire....it could be me one day."
All this is none of my business, if you ask me. HR needs to be very discrete, because one day, someone can discuss my intimate life, as it were.