Sunday 28 July 2013

GPS tracking of our trustful Service Team

Gloria plans, Axe monitors compliance

CEO Stan texted me to come to his room urgently, which I did, since I am his HR business partner. "The service engineers disappear for hours and no one knows there the hell they are. Not only does the service team lack discipline,  but only half the service engineers speak any English. Too many "mutter in accents and tribal dialects", our key customer claims. "-ranted Stan.  

"Gloria, track the  God damn service engineers  using GPS technology. Even when they go for a piss, I want YOU to know where they are. By YOU, I mean YOU and Ms Axe."

Here is the email/text I issued to our service team: 
"In the spirit of trust, globalism and sustainability, and in order to create a direct, humane and ongoing connection between all levels, HR will better align the Service Team with Management, using state of the art GPS technology, backed up by a Swiss blockchain. The Swiss are an accurate people."

Ms Cynthia Axe will be compliance officer for this project". Ms Axe heads our Early Bird Retirement Plan.






2 comments:

  1. I can see the merit of using GPS to track "lack-of-self-motivated" front-line service employees who are on clients' sites doing their jobs. In Hong Kong, well, this kind of behaviors of being absent (or "disappearing" for coffees or going to banks) is common among front-line service employees who are required to service at clients' sites. GPS tracking them will be expensive due to a high density of the city with many locations extremely nearby. I agreed the use of the term "in the spirit of trust".

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did you know that I have been to Hong Kong several times when Stan sent me there to look into cost of labor in Saint Jen!

    I stayed in Causeway Bay, which was very global!

    The best shopping was, however, in Admirality.

    I cannot understand why the subway announcements are in 3 languages. EVERYONE speaks English in Hong Kong.
    BTW, Stan did not attach a gps to me.
    Gloria

    ReplyDelete

How to determine a candidate's ability to work in an AI - rich environment

  "AI" could have been my middle name, but alas I was not given a middle name. This having been said, even someone who has no midd...

Glo at her best