Wednesday, 27 March 2013

The difference between coaching and consulting

                                                                             Mais oui!

Here is our quarterly directive to our Coaching and OD vendors. 
As per this directive, we may hire either coaches, or consultants. Please apply accordingly.

A) What is a coach and what is a consultant?

  1. A coach deals with individuals. He/she is positive. He sets goals. Life is beautiful.
  2. A consultant deals with irrelevant issues like processes, alignment and undermining HR.He/she sees problems everywhere.
  1. A coach studied coaching, and perhaps carpentry and flower arrangement.
  2. Consultants studied psychology, sociology and even community organizing. Some even studied organizational behaviour, which is absurd. Organizations roll profit, for heaven sake.  They do not behave!
  1. Coaches use words like "sustainable and agile" all the time. They stopped using the words "TQM and re engineering."
  2. Consultants use fewer buzzwords, because many of them have no work. However, consultants use the term big data but few know what it means.
  1. HR uses the words "coach" and "consultant" consistently. HR detests both professions, as it were. Because HR business partnership provides answers for all needs.
  2. Coaches and consultants use whichever term they need to, for heaven sake.
  1. Coaches spell the work censor, as in "satire should be censored as part of HR police-Y."
  2. Consultants claim that they are sensors, while HR is looking for censors, for heaven sake. 
B) Fees:

Our coaching/consulting fee is as follows: you will pay us $50 USD per each tender you submit, in the framework of HR as a business, partner.
Services we recruit are pro bono, which is not French.

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