|Stan likes multitasking-eating and thinking|
Our great leader and CEO, Stan, recently viewed a webinar prepared by HR on how multitasking vastly increases the quality of life.
Stan spends time managing whilst "walking around" at the same time which Stan views as multi-tasking. He also views eating cost effective lasagna and managing at the same time as multi-tasking. Yet Stan is less impressed by the ways others multi-task.....
Stan walked around toilet and overheard a conversation in which the Head of Sales (who was in stall two) was carrying out a non appreciative inquiry about product status with Comrade Carl Mark in stall 19. Comrade Carl heads our R&D department. Stan did not like this multi-tasking.
Stan also overheard people in stall 4,8 and 6 discussing Stan's management style in "non-neutral non-positive manner".
Subsequently, Stan decided that talking in the toilet is "non-wow" multi-tasking and asked me to issue new guidelines on multi-tasking.
1) No calls will be allowed whilst in the washroom unless you are using a Blackberry Priv. (My brothers, Frank and Ernest, work in Blackberry).
2) Client related texting, however, is to be allowed at all times. Employees must be able to text 300 words a minute. A webinar to provide these skills will be prepared "in a timely fashion", which is a cliche I often use. Cliche is a French word.
3) Taking Stan's name in vain whilst talking in the can will result in a "one on one" with Ms. Cynthia Axe, from Early Bird Retirement.
Ms Axe is one of the least popular employees in HR.
Axe has started to work with a reputation coach who uses appreciative inquiry combined with faith healing, which hopefully will make Axe more popular.