Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Working from home: Updated Policy


I text from home.


Stan, our cunning and ambiguous CEO, believes that if and when employees get home, they should not work from home.

"A man's home is his castle", Stan is quoted as saying as he headed off for a three week visit of the Asian offices coupled with a few days of rest in Koh Samui Thailand, alone. (Wifey is staying at home to read management articles).

Stan has asked HR to be vigilant while he is gone, ensuring that His will be done, "while showing sensitivity for the needs of the business, in an agile manner, whatever that means. Before he left, he asked me to update our working from home police-y.

So, here are the updated changes to our "no work from home police-y".

1-No con-calls are to start after 10 PM, except on major projects.

2-Nothing is "urgent" enough to cause work from home, unless deemed so by Stan himself, Gloria Ramsbottom or her assistant, Miss Cynthia Ax or any one of our middle managers.
3-Work from home cannot be cited as a reason for a bonus, unless the employee is from Engineering, Sales or Development.
4-People who do not work from home may be entitled to a career path, albeit a lateral one.
5-Joining/recruitment to our Early Bird Retirement Plan (life begins at 40) is not impacted  if you refuse work from home, unless deemed "appropriate" by the Head of Early Retirement, Miss Cynthia Axe, Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux, or a direct manager.


Why work from home?




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