I need feedback on the ways I plan to upgrade the satisfaction of our workforce-and a special request from Japan based readers of my blog

Stan, our CEO and great leader, has asked me to "make sure I see more people smiling around here." He has asked that I do so "in a timely fashion".

Stan clearly has developed his emotional intelligence, whatever that means.

Here are a few ideas and I am asking for feedback, preferably positive, since Stan reads my blog.
If people from Japan read this blog, I would LOVE to get feedback because Stan respects the hard work and lack of complaining in Japan.

1-In order to improve the physical well being of our employees, we shall be using a parking lot which is 3 kms from the office. This brisk walk does a lot to improve one's state of mind.

2-Lunch will be "aligned" with ensuring that our employees focus on a work work work life balance.

3-Hotels which have bars will not longer be used, due to the negative impact of alcohol on one's well being (bien etre, in French)

4-The elevator for management only will now be open to the public at large from 7 pm onward.

5-Nighttime pizzas will be ordered once a week and stored in the refrigeration to ensure our employees do not need to wait for delivery.

6-Our new lapel "HR is cool; hard works the rule" will be worn by all employees yet the price has been reduced from 20 usd a lapel to 12 usd.

7-Our mission statement now is "Smile all day, or here you're not going to stay"