Wifey, the brainy wife of CEO Stan, called this morning to tell me that in Spain, Holland and Denmark, wellness packages have been updated to "state of the art" , adding, "there is no reason to make Stan look so bad during the so-called Corona virus. Update the wellness package Gloria, and Stan will find the budget. Don't worry about the financials".
I googled wellness and found out that Spaniards now have a 4 hour siesta; some don't go back to work after 1300, but just pretend to teletrabajo. In Denmark, there is a plan to abolish money altogether. And in Holland, blockchain nerds hug cows to calm themselves down, the cows being rented out by the Ministry of Health and Agriculture to each HR manager.
Putting on my thinking cap, I put together a 3 pronged wellness plan, with each nerd eligible to one prong each, plus VAT minus 2.
Prong One- A picture of Miss Axe hugging a cow and free webinar on "The Liminal and the Subliminal".
Prong Two-A picture of Ms Axe hugging a cow, free hand gel and my new article "How to Fake Telebrabajo without a Blockchain".
Prong Three-A picture of Ms Axe hugging two cows and a 5 Euro loan, repayable within a week at 2% interest. Regulations may apply.
I sent this plan to Wifey by Whatsapp, text and email; Wifey reverted to me telling me that "if you want me to tell Stan that you are an "uber" HR lady, you need to "try again".
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