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| You nailed the bastard |
Thinking (as opposed to "just doing") is a major component of being a C level HR lady, believe you me. I did not reach the top of the corporate ladder just because of my sycophancy and attractive perfect trilingualism including knowledge of German long words, as it were.
I estimate that I think about an hour a day, but not all at once. I break up my thinking into smaller parts, to ensure that I appear to be constantly pondering the quintessential essence of my role.
This thinking pays off. On Friday morning, I gave a key note session at an annual HR conference in NYC. In the Q&A session, a sleazy, manipulative but impressive CEO asked me, "Professor Ramsbottom, don't you see the role of HR business partner as overly nuanced?"
My Dad used to say that some of his bosses "need their fucking head examined", but I would never talk like this.
Instead, I asked the aforementioned CEO to ponder three situations.
1) Getting nerds to travel to 3rd world shit holes, whilst cutting travel expenses by travelling on Ryan-air, American Eagle, Alitalia or El Al, nevertheless allowing the CEO to travel first class on Singapore Airlines or Cathay Pacific.
2) Maintaining cost effective nerds from developing countries after they get their green card, who are willing to invest discretionary effort because they are "proud" of our non functioning product.
3) Work people to the bone, day in and day out, relinquishing weekends, sleep and sexual activity, whilst winning a prize from a leading trade journal as the wellness capital of the industry.
Inviting the CEO to stand up, I asked him "on which part of the nuance do you wish to forego, for heaven sake?" The CEO, who was not white or even American, nevertheless blushed and sat down.
To my surprise, Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd and one of my major internal clients, rose to his feet with a joint between his fingers and yelled, "Kibinimat, you nailed the bastard Gloria. What a thoughtful lady you are!"
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