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| Our product is a pearl |
A scathing article appeared in a high brow online
technical journal claimed that our newest product, "was released pre
maturely in an embryonic stage. Users are flabbergasted by the number of
useless features which appear to be totally unrelated to business needs.
Luckily, 12 software engineers and 2 orderly Swiss bots have defected from the engineering team under
the leadership of the bizarre Comrade Carl Marks, in order to work for clients
who purchased this so called product".
Our CEO Stan had read the article at dawn; at
breakfast Wifey had printed the article and told Stan to "read this before
you eat your porridge". Stan lost his appetite only to come to work all the
more flustered.
The article was the first issue on our agenda in the
senior management meeting held this morning. "What do you have to say
about this, Comrade Carl? You ensured me that the product is a pearl. And what
about you, Gloria? Defection is in the realm of HR, for Christ's sake. Speak
up, or I will fire you both. Trump is no fool".
Comrade Carl, cool as a Danish cucumber on a dark
December morning, said, "Spasiba and thank you-I only scanned the article
because I avoid false news. However, let's look at cause and effect by
examining the role of HR in the defection scandal. In East Germany,
the Staatssicherheitsdienst ....."
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| Ja |
CEO Stan interrupted and told Carl to "avoid using
long German words".
But the Comrade continued "unabated" which
is a nice word. "In East Germany, the state
police knew everything about everyone: their comings and goings, the food
that they ate, their political opinions and even their sex lives. Our HR
department doesn't know Jack Shit about anyone. Therefore, our ranks are more
permeated with traitors than the American government by Russian spies. It's
time for Gloria from HR to stop being such a liberal Canadian. We need kompromat (компромат)about
our nerds, not HR data analytics."
Then Comrade Carl looked at me and said, "take it
from here Baby".
I remember that my Dad Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom used to
talk about spying a lot at the dinner table. Dad used to say that British
intelligence is totally infiltrated by the Russians and that the East
Germans have a listening device up everyone's ass. My mother used to say to
Dad, "Pierre Elliot watch your tongue. You forget that our dainty young
daughter is impressionable."
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| Impressionable |
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