Tuesday, 5 August 2014

On flexibility and survival

Gym class

CEO Stan's indefatigable wife, Wifey, read a management article which said that only the flexible survive.
In my opinion as an HR thought leader, this is trite and meaningless whilst at the same time, demanding of my attention.
Wifey sent me the article along with a text, ccing her husband, "Gloria, is HR aligned with flexibility? RSVP ASAP! Wifey".
RSVP ASAP means get back to me as soon as possible, with the rsvp part being French. Mais oui!

I texted the following message to the white heterosexual boy, Hugh White (Diversity) and a certain Ms. Cynthia Axe (Early Bird Retirement and Morale) 
"In what ways are you flexible? RSVP ASAP OYAD. Gloria."
That means get back to me as soon as possible or you are dead.

White texted me that he is tending to the needs of his wife, Comrade Ludmilla White, who just gave birth to their 4th White child in as many years. Axe texted me: "Gloria, I am crushed by conflicting priorities. This afternoon I am posing for a Big Data baby pinup. I will get back to you tomorrow."

I texted Wifey that I will answer her tomorrow. Wifey texted me that I am not "flexible enough". 

In gym class, I used to be able to bring my heal behind my ear! My Dad told me: "You are like an elastic band, for Christs sake". 

Big Data Baby

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