Sunday 3 August 2014

A fierce level of engagement

I just love my new Honda Insight; I can get  28 miles to a gallon!  However, I cannot even find my favourite radio station! Tabernac!
The dashboard is so complex that the car comes with a 400 page manual; I have never read anything longer than a text since my days at the Secretary Academy in Montreal. 
(The word manual is not Spanish). 

I was sitting at a traffic light when a  warning light lit up on my car dashboard. In great duress, I was looking up the meaning of warning light, when Stan texted me: "Gloria, we need to embed our products' liabilities in the internet of things. I need you to generate a fierce level of engagement NOW".

Sometimes, I want to speak "truth to power" and tell Stan to shove his slogans, but immediately I remembered that I am his HR business partner. I think the Honda dashboard had unduly distracted me .

So, starting at 3 pm tomorrow, HR will launch 3 day engagement event for all Internet of things engineering staff, in alignment Comrade Carl Marks, VP Engineering, whatever the word "alignment" means. 

During the 3 day engagement event, heterosexual Hugh White (the white boy who runs Diversity) will ensure that enough food is brought in to feed an army. 
My Dad told me that people in the army get as much food as they need in reward for their service. Dad was in the RCAF. That means Royal Canadian Airforce, for my American followers. My Dad said that feeding a person well causes engagement.

During the event, Cynthia Axe will bar the exit doors, and mobile phones will be confiscated to ensure the fiercest level of engagement. Folks will work 3 days  straight until the product bugs disappear.

Engagement will be measured by Ms Axe.
Hugh White will put cheese on the cheeseburgers,and dish out tribal food as per localized demand of our engineers, few of whom speak English well.

My dashboard

Follow me @GRamsbottom

1 comment:

  1. I share with you same frustration from the Honda multimedia. What can you expect from a German system (teleefunken) called New york?


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