Hybrid working Arrangements introduced-Based on Blockchain Input and Warm Data

 

"Kibinimat Stan, if I were given the HR portfolio, we would have introduced hybrid work before the Treaty of Utrecht was signed".

This statement was made by our chief nerd, Comrade Carl Marks, at our recent management meeting. The comrade was speaking to our CEO, Stan, but winking at me. Carl texted me "calm down Gloria, be liminal."

CEO Stan, suffering from digestive issues after eating too much onions in last night's salad, asked me "what's our hybrid work plan, Gloria. I do not want to keep hearing that in places like  Spain, everyone has a plan like this and we don't!" 

"Actually Stan, I have a plan and the execution is pending your approval. Check your Whatsapp more often. The plan offers incentives to our nerds to volunteer their services for 14 hours a week, defining that as exercising social responsibility to the firm. Furthermore, our toilet facilities can be retrofitted as conference rooms (voice only), and that adds another dimension to hybrid work, in a metaphysical sense. In a final coup de gras, so to speak, HR shall suspend the need to struggle with work-life balance. Homes of all nerds will be wired and connected so that the nerd can feel at work when at home, and at home when at work, so to speak."

Comrade Carl, feeling outfoxed said, "In Spain, people went home for siestas; that will not be necessary with your new plan, Sister Gloria. Siestas will be defined as old world manifestations of upper class decadence. This sounds brilliant. I will see that it gets published in El Mundo Orbrero and the New York Times.

As the meeting ended, I email my English-based Blockchain Expert to align all systems, but it was a bank holiday, so he may have been at the bank.

Compensation Realignment after Corona

 

The so-called Corona virus forced HR, very much against our will, to deduct 45% of nerds' pecuniary compensation as our Sales went belly-up.

Nevertheless I did manage to transform the deducted  45% into intrinsic motivation units as well as an improved dental care package. 

Intrinsic motivation was augmented by pep talks given at first by Herr Krebbs our German CFO. However Herr Krebbs is a dry as a desert wind (although he has a German sense of humour). 

Thereafter, Ms Cynthia Axe, our downsizer, gave excruciatingly effective pep talks, with a nerd's severed head tucked underneath her arm.

Our ameliorated dental care allows one extraction every 14 months, or one visit to a dental hygienist every 5 years. We cover 30% of the parking fee as well. 

Apparently, with business booming, there is a work-compensation realignment issue on my hands.

Today, 4 nerds walked into my room, uninvited, and demanded to speak to me. Their names were Svetlana, Svetlana, Sanjay and Sanjay. They were all wearing T-shirts with the inscription: No money; no honey.

Apparently, these 4 nerds were acting under the auspices of Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd and chief product architect. Svetlana 1, the chief rabble rouser was holding a red flag and a copy of yesterdays' El Mundo Obrero. 

Every HR lady is judged in moments where quick decision making and steadfastness is needed. HR is not a tea party. HR is not paying taxes in Denmark. HR is not a university discourse. Non! Pas de tout, which is a French term.

I asked the 4 nerds to sit down, and excused myself for a call from my sister about her upcoming divorce. Not willing to be rude, I promised the 2 boys and the Svetlanas that I'd be back to them "in a timely fashion".