Corona vaccine inoculation in a diversity friendly manner by the First Lady of HR

White 

 

Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, walked into the office this morning with his tucker bag, which is Australian word for duffle bag. The Australians swear a lot and tend to be down to earth, according to Hugh White, the straight white boy who runs our Diversity Programme.

The comrade emptied the tucker bag on the table in the lobby and lo and behold, out fell vaccines all encased in ice. There was the posh British vaccine, the Pfizer vaccine with the P that is not pronounced, the Russian Sputnik vaccine with the picture of a bear on all vials, and the Moderna vaccine, which the Europeans oked after thousands of minks called in ill somewhere in Scandinavia.

"Comrades", yelled Carl on his megaphone, "come down to the lobby to get the vaccine, kibinimat. We need to get life back to normal. We have been living like shit for too long. Workers -unite, get vaccinated, and we can overthrow the running dogs who inflicted this plague on us, and extract revenge  by releasing new software".

Hugh White was sitting in his small, cramped cubicle reading a book entitled "Inoculation and Diversity". Hugh reads state of the art literature, making himself all the more nerdish and irrelevant. Yet, he does keep us diversity compliant, which is the only reason he still brings his salary home (to be delivered to his wife, Ludmilla White, nee Khrushchev).

Hugh ran into my office alarmed. "Gloria, stop the Comrade now! We will be sued. His inoculation programme is not complaint. When I hear the word "sued", I start to listen. Life is not easy for a boy named Sue.

Hugh gave me his "white paper", which was actually on black stationery, and I read it quickly,  skimming thru it as if was a message on a dating site I use. I then galloped down to the lobby, and ordered Comrade Carl to cease and desist "until we can align this inoculation programme with diversity in a timely fashion".

Trotting back to office, I gave Hugh White the ok to send off the following email to the all-list.

"In accordance with HR's core value of People First and Profit Second, we will begin inoculation against the so called corona virus today. 

C level executives will be inoculated in their offices with the vaccine of their choice. 

Those wishing to get vaccinated in their thigh or bum are asked to wait discretely in the lobby at 6 PM. 

People of color including various shades of off-white, will not get the Russian vaccine, unless the opt for it.  

People with various disabilities can, at their convenience, meet with Hugh White, to arrange a vaccine aligned with their needs; kindly bring a class B diversity-certificate in English signed by a notary in order that you get preferential treatment ".

Hugh White-White.

Sometimes, I must admit, I am proud not only to be a thought leader, but also a lady of action and praxis. Oui. 

                                                                   On the vials 

 

 

Unintentional Learning-the great gift of 2021

 

                                          Prof Ramsbottom and Ms Axe (Cynthia) 

Miss Cynthia Axe scored  two strikes within 3 seconds. She entered the executive elevator, without a mask-only to encounter CEO Stan who was already on the lift having parked his Mercedes in the underground parking lot.

About five minutes after this event, a certain Hugh White, the straight white boy who manages our Diversity and Inclusion Program, also erred, which is a nice way of saying that he fucked up big time. Hugh had sent out a survey with the follow questions to our nerds:

1)      Would you favour that our lunch room ban meat that has been slaughtered with Halal or Kosher style?

2)      Should ladies (or men) wearing a burqa also be asked to wear a facemask?

Hugh and Ms Axe were in my office at 10.00 am for our action-packed morning meeting. At that point, I was unaware of what had transpired. At 10.01, one minute after the start of our meeting, I got a call from CEO. I answered on my landline speaker phone, so that Axe and White could hear the close business partner that I have  cultivated with our chief executive officer.

“Gloria, I am about to deport you back to Canada, where you’ll freeze your white ass off. That dumb cow Axe wasn’t wearing her mask today when I encountered her in the God damn executive elevator. Jesus Christ Gloria, was she using your ID pass to gain access? Two minutes later, I looked at that survey that that bumbling fool of yours, that total idiot, Huge White issued! What the fuck is this all about? Why do you pay him a salary? Why are we asking for trouble? Get your fucking act together. Shake a leg and fix this pronto. Now!”

Axe (Cynthia) immediately had a hissy fit and Hugh White started to cry, fearing that he would need to spend more time at home with his tender wife, Ludmilla Khrushchev-White. One may ask, "what is the take away of this incident". Elementary, my dear Reader. Unintentional learning happens all the time, and when you least suspect it. Daily, if needed. Even in Denmark; valid except in Nebraska.