I have been on a sabbatical recently, getting a PhD in AI and German grammar. The AI stuff was easy.
I won't talk about the German grammar part.
Anyway 2025 is upon is, and from what I understand, Australia, New Zealand, Samoa and the Canary Islands are already well into 2025-if I am not mistaken. So I'd better hustle and set forth my four part blueprint for 2025's HR thought leaders.
1-The implementation of transgender toilets has been "pushed out" to a later date. This is not because transgender toilets are unimportant, but because our plan to hire transgender employees was frozen by our head of R&D, Comrade Karl Marks, who just returned from the mid east. Here is what Karl blurted out at an all hands meeting:
"The woke crowd have been caught with their pants down. The whole map of interests is shifting. We need to hire better engineers, without any PC criteria. HR Diversity is a thing of the past, just like OD and the slogan that "people matter". Long live Otto Van Bismarck."
Thus, I plan to reintroduce transgender toilets when the Dems are back in power. In other words, don't hold your (m) or your (f) breath.
2) I cannot emphasize how important AI is to the future of HR. It's as important as flossing your teeth or washing your hands after a stay in the toilet. I have set up an AI committee, we will celebrate "AI Monday" weekly and ....get this....we will hire 5 nerds names Aileen, male or female. Sorry, female.
3) Working from Home is now a crime against humanity. Unlike scurvy, it it is not lethal to the employee, but rather to the firm. Yes- there are mitigating circumstances due to which working from home will be permitted-for example earthquakes near HQ, civil war or an outbreak of leprosy. But don't bet the farm that WFH will be tolerated. Thank you for your understanding.
4) HR strives for gender equality-especially in hiring, downsizing and medical care for various intimate diseases. We hire pregnant staff, whether male or female, as long as the candidate verify their ten-month plan, which can be downloaded almost anonymously on line.
